So Moody...

I've been so moody recently. I hate it. It is "that week" when I get more moody that usual, but I still need to figure out how to get it under control. It's not fun for me and it's not fair to Justin or Anaya.

I particularly don't like how long it takes for me to get un-moody. Once I get in a funk, there's not a whole lot anyone can do to get me out of it and generally any attempts just backfire and make it worse.

Particularly when Justin or Anaya decide to start poking me. I hate being poked. I always have. I don't know why. We were in Anaya's room hanging her stuff animal net (finally) and Anaya comes in and pokes Justin in the butt once and then comes over to me and starts repeatedly poking me in the butt singing a little song. Drove me to the unhappy place faster than anything else. Poking is just something I really really do not like. Especially on my butt...during *that week*. Then Justin and I are standing in the kitchen and he decides to go poking crazy because he thinks it is funny to watch me squirm when I don't know where he is going to poke and then random poke my boobs and my belly and my hips. And I really truly do not enjoy it but nothing I say gets that across because he thinks this is great because I'm ticklish. But it drives me up the wall and really puts me in a bad mood.

And just now, Justin calls me and asks me when swim lessons are for Anaya. They've been written on the calendar all month long. We've looked at the calendar. I've pointed them out on the calendar. But he's in the basement and instead of walking up the stairs to the kitchen to look, he calls me and asks me. Not a huge deal, but come-on. And when I told him it was on the calendar and instead of calling me at work he ought to just look, he got huffy about how he didn't think I'd written the next set on the calendar yet! Seriously? Walk upstairs and look for yourself before bugging me about it. That's why the calendar is there, so that you don't have to call me in order to find out when stuff is going on.

Sleepovers

We've got one of Anaya's step-sisters, JoJo, spending the weekend with us. Justin and Anaya picked her up today and we take her back on Sunday.

We don't have anything major planned for this weekend. I'm making Justin go to a wedding with me, so Anaya & JoJo will get to spend some time with my mom. We'll probably go to the pool at some point, but no probably not until Sunday.

We need to see about getting JoJo's mom's phone number so that we can set sometimes up with her that JoJo can visit when she's not at Anaya's mom's house. And there are way too many different mom's and dad's involved in this story

what i want vs what i get

I really want to go home tonight, clean up my scrapping room and do something. I have pictures, I have sketches, I have paper, but I don't have the time to put it all together.

Instead, I'm stopping at the grocery store on the way home, getting home, probably cooking dinner. Then taking Anaya up to the church for WIGBY (Wednesdays In God's Back Yard). Then I'm coming home and sitting on the couch and writing numbers on wires for work. And I'm writing trivia questions on MTurk for make a few extra dollars, probably not enough to make it worth while, but I said I would do it and I have 88 more that I need to write. Maybe I'll take the wires with me to church and while Anaya's having fun at WIGBY I'll go in the Sanctuary and listen to the Wednesday sermon and write numbers on wires. Still probably won't get to scrap tonight at all. Which is my own fault for agreeing to do so much other stuff.

WHY?!

So, I woke Justin up this morning and said, "It's 8:30, you need to get up soon, Anaya's swim lessons are at 9:50, you need to leave by 9:30 since it is the first day." I left for work, got here, was having some problems with things so didn't get around to calling him until 9:35 when he should have been gone. He didn't answer the home phone or his cell phone. Well, finally he calls me back at 9:42 (I know, finally is all of 7 minutes later). And he had pretty much JUST left the house. Because Anaya threw a hissy fit because I forgot to get her Miley Cyrus cd out of my car. And Justin decided to have a talk with her about that...prior to getting in the car. He just called me and they got there pretty close to on time.

Now, I agree with having a talk with her about the cd and how she shouldn't throw a hissy fit because I forgot to do something that we have on multiple occasions told her if she wants her cd out of the car, she needs to ask for it when we get back to the house as we are getting out of the car. Not just expect us to remember to grab her cd. But I had told her this morning that I would get it out, then with waking Justin up and getting Anaya's swim cover-up tied around her neck and getting my lunch ready, I was running late and didn't remember that it was in my car until I was half way to work.

The real reason I'm annoyed isn't because she's a little late for swim lessons. It's because anytime I ask him to do one little thing: empty the dishwasher, take the trash out, switch the laundry over, etc... He forgets. He doesn't do it. And then when I get home, after being at work all day, I have to do laundry, mess with the dishes, take the trash out (which at that point is overflowing). And then if I don't do those things, within a few days, he starts bitching about the house looking trashed. I'm so tired of working full time, doing house work, keeping the kiddo entertained, giving him my opinion on his latest painting, paying the bills, etc when he is home all day long and could at least get some of that stuff done. Now don't get me wrong, I love the kiddo and have no problem with hanging out with her, but sometimes it would be nice if he would take over for a little bit without (a) sending her off to play a video game, or (b) having her sit down in front of the TV.

A lot of the time he seems to think that he is the only one that wants to do something besides whatever the kiddo wants to do. Why does he think that just because he wants to paint every hour of every day means that he gets to? I took 2 days off work last week and had the 4th off and then Saturday & Sunday. So, 5 days that I was home all day. You wanna now how much time I spent doing stuff I wanted to do? Not much. I know I spent some time doing my own thing, or at least things without the kiddo. I won't necessarily say I was doing what I wanted to be doing since I also mowed the lawn, completely cleaned the kitchen, and did 5 loads of laundry. I did get to read quite a bit of my book. But a lot of that was done after Anaya was in bed or while she was out front playing since we don't like sending her out front alone. And I did get a little scrapping done because I went to the crop at the church, although I took Anaya with me and she scrapbooked and did a few other crafts. And I did go to JoAnn's with my mom for about 2.5 hours. So, yeah. That's the stuff I did "for me".

finally...

So, last night I finally went through all of my Atlantis pictures and have them all set up to make a 2-pg layout that will go in our family album as just an overview of our trip to Atlantis. I left a blank spot in the family album for this page, but just wasn't motivated to do it after making an entire album about Atlantis. But I really wanted something in the family book too.

However, as I was going through my Atlantis pictures, I realized how few pictures I actually took. I think my mom took more pictures than I did. And a lot of my pictures are just of the scenery. I know for a fact I took way more pictures during our 3 days in Branson than I did for the 5-6 days we were in Atlantis. But then again, pretty much all we did in Atlantis was sit by the pool; so there really wasn't that much to take pictures of.

"Oh look, there's Kimbra by the pool."
"Oh look, here's another one of Kimbra by the pool."
"Here's one of Justin by the pool."
"And here's one of Jenni and Justin by the pool."

Oh well.

and....I'm back.

Well, I have returned from Branson. Most of us had fun. Justin was pretty whiny the whole time because his knee hurt and he got bit by bugs and he just really didn't want to be there in the first place. But we still managed to have a good time.

Friday: We drove down there (which sucked a lot). Got there a little after 1:00pm. Went to our cabin, checked in, unpacked the car. Then we went to the Branson Belle. Which is a Showboat. It was really entertaining. We had dinner on the boat, then we walked around on the different decks and we went up to the wheel house and the captain gave us his spiel about the boat. After spending sometime wondering about, it was time for the show. They had a group of singer/dancers called "The Showstoppers" who preformed songs from well-known musicals. Then they had these AMAZING Russians that we ballet/trapeze people. It was really neat. Then they had a ventriloquists come out with some dogs that he made talk. After the Showboat, we just went back to the cabin. Anaya, Kimbi and I went to pool and swam for a while. Then after the kiddo went to bed, the adults stayed up and played Phase 10.

Saturday: We got up. My mom made biscuits and gravy (YUMMY). Today, the plan was to visit some museums and do some activities in downtown Branson. First stop was the Butterfly Palace. Which was neat, but WAAAY overpriced. Anaya enjoyed it though. Although even she was like, "OK, we've looked at the butterflies long enough!" Then we went to the Titanic museum. Do NOT take a 7-yr old to the Titanic museum. It was interesting. However, it took longer that I would've preferred and cost more than I would have preferred. In fact, I think we all would've been better off if we had split into groups and had Justin, Anaya & I go to the Butterfly Palace and then Mom, Dad, Matt & Kimbi go to the Titanic Museum. Justin and I just didn't get much out of the Titanic museum because we had a kiddo that was bored and hanging on us to deal with. But that is one of those live and learn type of things. Then we had lunch at this buffet that was lame. Then we went to Tanger Outlet mall. They had a Gap Outlet. It was fabulous, I got a dress for $10! They also had an Old Navy outlet. I didn't actually look for anything for me there, but we got Anaya two pairs of jean shorts and a tank top. I've been wanting to get her jean shorts because she always wears colored cotton shorts and has just a hard time matching them to shirts - she thinks matching means wearing and all pink shirt with her all pink shorts (the same color of pink) which is matching, but not necessarily good. Plus, I think jean shorts just look better than cotton shorts. Anyways, then we went to Ride The Ducks. And we rode a Duck, one of those amphibious vehicles. Captain Bob drove us through Branson, up to the third highest point in Branson and then down and into Table Rock Lake. As far as we can tell, the only reason they go out on Table Rock Lake is to let the kids drive. He let each kiddo go up to the front, sit in the Captains' chair and "drive". Then after each kiddo got their turn at the wheel, we went back on land. After the ducks we just went back to the cabin. Although Matt was worried about traffic waiting to go to Silver Dollar City because on our way out in the morning there was a line seriously more than 2 miles long. And our cabin was down on Indian Point, past Silver Dollar City. So, he decided we would go "the back way." All the way around the south side of Table Rock Lake. It took an hour to get back to the cabin, if we'd gone the other way, it would've taken 10-15 minutes. Some of us went to the pool again. Then dinner, Clue and more cards!

Sunday: Pancakes and Bacon. YUMMY! I should take my mom more places with me since she always cooks such good food. After breakfast, Anaya, Kimbi and I went to the pool again. Stayed there for almost an hour and then went back to the cabin and got packed up to leave. Then we got all of our stuff loaded into the Yukon again. And there was more stuff to take home than there was on the way down because Kimbi and I went shopping and Anaya had souvenirs. Anyways, finally got it all loaded up into the Yukon and headed into Branson. We went to Pirate's Cove Mini Golf and played a round of mini golf. Then we went to Kris Kringel's Christmas Store where Anaya got Santa's business card, complete with phone number. Then we left Branson. We went to Springfield where we ate lunch. Then we drove home, which took somewhere close to FOREVER!

Peeling

Last night, my sunburn started peeling. Now it itches. Oh well. I'll probably live. Although I should probably try to stop getting sunburnt since I don't particularly want skin cancer.

Normally on Thursdays I get to look forward to watching Grey's Anatomy. Now Grey's is done for the summer and I don't have that to look forward to anymore. :( Although they are showing the rest of the episodes of Studio 60 on Thursdays now. And that is almost as exciting as Grey's.

I think Crystal Light Lemonade is going to help me through WeightWatchers this time around. When I just drink water in the afternoon, I'm starving. But yesterday, I drink Lemonade, not hungry at all. And I'm not filling up on the calories of it because it is only 10 calories for the whole packet. I usually make it a little weak so that the packet makes two glasses.

Justin drove out to Independence today to talk to Keita about when we need Anaya during June. She said yes to all of them. It is really lame that Justin has to drive out there anytime he needs to discuss Anaya with Keita. I wish she'd pay her bills so that her phone would work. It would make life much easier.

Tonight's To Do List:
[X] Grocery Shopping
[ ] Clean Kitchen & Diningroom
[X] Watch "Lady in the Water"

Turkey Creek Festival

Today, Anaya & I went to the Turkey Creek Festival. I am sooo sunburnt. We put sunscreen on, but evidently, mine didn't last for 5 hours! Hers did though, so that is good. Plus I put on much lower SPF.

The festival was really fun. I probably could've been done after about 2 hours, but oh well. We got there around 10:30am. Sat on the side of Antioch until 11:00 (in full sunlight) waiting for the parade to start. Then we watched the parade (which was really quite lame). Then we went to into the park for the actual festival. We rode on a little train, ate lunch, went to the petting zoo, anaya rode a horse, looked at the craft booths, anaya bounced in the bounce thingies, got anaya's arm painted, made a sand filled bear, got a balloon flower, built a planter (sponsored by Home Depot), ate ice cream, and listened to a concert. And for each of the bounce thingies and the horse ride and the arm paint and the balloon flower, we stood in line for many many minutes. We seriously stood in line for more than 15 minutes for a balloon flower! And I think we waited closer to 30 minutes for the arm tattoo that is probably going to wash off in the shower.

But it was fun. And I'm sunburnt.

Of all the places I'd thought I'd be at 25...this isn't one of them...

This life that I'm living does not resemble any of the possible lives that I imagined I'd have at 25.

Granted, that "perfect life" that I had imagined for myself doesn't happen for very many people by the age of 25, but that is not the point.

And I know that whole thing about you're the only one that can change your life. But that's not really true. Justin's knee could finally get fixed. Seriously, it has been over TWO years. And I'm starting to wonder how much more of this I can take. Our entire marriage (and engagement for that matter) as been in sickness. We haven't gotten to the in health part of our marriage yet. And that just sucks. Luckily, next month things will get a little bit better when insurance finally starts paying Justin again. That will at least lift some of the strain.

Anyways, I guess I'm just going to have to learn to make the most with what I have. I've never really been one of those optimistic "when life gives you lemons make lemonade" type of people. So we'll see how this goes.

avril is my buddy

I've been listening to Avril's new cd for the past few days...actually I think it's been about a week at this point. But I really like most of it. There's one song that I absolutely cannot stand.

I've decided to make a dress for Anaya. On Saturday, I bought the pattern and the fabric. Actually, I bought two patterns because they were on sale for $1.99...Normally, they are between $10 and $15! Tonight I have to wash the fabric and then tomorrow night my mommy is helping me cut it and get it all ready to be sewn.

This weekend is so much fun. We didn't really do anything extraordinary on Saturday. On Sunday we went to church and then hung out at my mom's until 3-ish. Anaya sang with the kids choir in the evening and then we went bowling! I haven't been bowling in at least 2 years! And really, bowling has never been one of my favorite things. I took a bowling class in college as one of my PE credits, and I think that's probably what made bowling fun for me. Granted, I only bowled like an 80-something, but that's still pretty good for someone that doesn't bowl regularly. And a lot of my problem is that I would get a strike or a spare and then do really bad on my next turn.

Someone has a case of the Mondays

My family celebrated my birthday this weekend. On Saturday we had dinner and custard cake (from Culvers) and I opened presents. I mean, I knew just about everything that I was getting. Justin got me a purse (ok, he also got me a digicam, but I got that a month ago when I broke the old one). I didn't know what Matt & Kimbi would get me, but they got me a giftcard to Gap which is cool (I want a new dress). My mom & dad got me a bicycle & helmet and some scrapbooking stuff. I have some birthday money that I'm gonna go spend sometime in the near future.

I have already been for two bike rides with Anaya. She has got to get better at not stopping and staying out of people's front yards. Seriously, she starts to swerve a little towards a yard and instead of turning the handle bars and continuing to pedal, she either a) stops pedaling and turns the handle bar or b) stops pedaling and puts her feet on the ground in an effort to stop before she hits the grass. Either way, it doesn't exactly help us keep going with the bike ride.

Anyways, it was a good weekend and hopefully this evening I'll post some pictures of me on the bike. :) If I weren't at work, I would do it now, but oh well.