Vegas Baby!

The first half of this week was spent in Vegas. Where we had no internet because everyone in Vegas wants to charge you at least $12.99 for wireless internet access. Unless you use the business center at the hotel where they will charge you $7.50 for 15 minutes.

Now I am back in good ole Kansas.

I feel like shit, but that's another story for another day.

Today's story is about why I feel like the worst Step-Mother on the face of the planet.

Last night, Red and I were making SWAPs for Girl Scout camp. Each SWAP went on a safety pin so that the girl that Red gives it to can pin it to her hat. I was fixing dinner and looked over and Red had put beads on the opening side of a safety pin (instead of on something else that we then would attach to the non-opening side of the safety pin).

ANYWAYS.

So I went over and said, "Red, when you're done with that one, don't put it over here with the rest, I'll need to do something to it to make sure the beads don't fall off. OK?" And she nodded.

Then I went back to cooking and Red got up and started dancing around the kitchen/diningroom. I asked her if she was done making SWAPs. She said, "No, but you told me not to work on that one."

I replied, "No, I just said that when you were done, don't put it in the pile, just set it to the side so that I could do something to it. See, with the beads on that side of the safety pin, the beads might fall off when you go to pin it on something, so I was going to put some hotglue on the end to keep them on even when the pin is opened."

Her response, "You didn't say pile."

Then I blew up. And then Ruben blew up.

And it was dumb and it was silly and there was no point to it at all. And it made the whole evening awful.

But that's what Red does. She picks out the one word (or phrase) that you say slightly differently and points it out.

And she also used her standard responses of "I didn't understand" (well, tell us and we'll explain better!) and "I don't remember" (then listen!).

One Of Life's Greatest Lessons

Red is about to learn one of life's greatest lessons.

I like to call it...Suck It Up And Deal.

Next week, Red is going to Girl Scout Camp. Next week the temperature will be between 72 and 85. Seems like perfect weather for GS Camp to me!

However, for camp they have to wear Jeans or (Sturdy & Long) shorts.

If it is over 65 degrees Red thinks she will DIE if she can't wear super short cotten shorts and a tank top because it's HOT. It's oh so HOT. How can we expect her to wear jeans when it is so HOT?!?

And you can't argue with her. She'll insist that 65 degrees is HOT the best we've gotten her to go with is, "It feels hot to me" because then she's starts telling me that I ought to wear shorts and she can't believe I'm wearing Jeans and have a sweater jacket on when it's 65 degrees! At which point I explain...again...that while 65 may feel HOT to her. It doesn't not feel HOT to me.

Anyways, this week she has to wear shirts with sleeves and one day they are doing the Zipline and ought to wear jeans or long shorts. And Red is just going to have to suck it up and deal. Or drive her unit leader insane with her constant complaint of...."but it's SOOO HOT!"

planning for step-parents

The thing about being a step-parent that drives me the most insane is the inability to plan anything in advance. Our custody agreement with Red's mom is rather lax. We all just kind of go with the flow.

However, now that it is the last day of school. All of Red's friends' moms are wanting to know what are plans are for the summer. You know, in hopes of coordinating some play dates and what not.

Well, the best I can do is shrug and tell them that the details of when she is here versus at her mom's is still undecided. And to give us a call because if she is with us, we know she'd LOVE to have a playdate.

This is a mild annoyance. I can deal with it, it just would be so much easier if we had a plan.

The other step-parenting thing that is really driving me insane right now is Red's desire to play a sport. I would love for her to play a sport. I would even be fine with her doing Cheerleading with the church again. She wants to play soccer or basketball. And I think doing either of those would be wonderful for Red. She'd get some exercise, she'd have fun, she'd have something to motivate her.

However, last year when Red did cheerleading with the church, her mom told us never again. The football games Red cheered at were on Saturdays. Well, her mom didn't want to have to bring Red to the games and watch her cheer. She came to one of the eight games. But she also didn't want to give up half of her weekend so that Red could stay with us and have us take Red to the game.

So, basically, any sport that has weekend games (hmm...all of them?) are out.

We had Red in gymnastics during the week. But that is really one of those things a child has to be motivated to do and practice at home. And getting her to practice at home was always a fight. And then Ruben stopped getting paid and we couldn't afford it anyways.

Now it is summer. And there are week long sport camps that teach basketball, baseball, soccer and football and then they get to cool off in the pool at the end of the day. Sounds great! But we don't know what weeks we'll have Red and I'm not signing her up for a camp just to have it now work out.

good neighbors

First off, Callie has returned. Ruben is going to make a vet appointment for her since she was out for so long. Our neighbor called Ruben's cell phone at 2:15am to tell us that Callie was outside. Ruben...can sleep through ANYTHING. I can't. I used to be able to until Red came into my life. Now I wake up to any sound.

So, Ruben's cell phone rang and it woke me up. But I was very confused and didn't know what was going on and was somehow convinced that we had singing plants...yeah, I dunno. So I got up and stumbled around to the bathroom and went back to bed. At which point Ruben receives a text message from this same neighbor. I don't usually mess with Ruben's phone besides to just make it shut up. So I didn't check to see what the text said.

Then I'm laying there and I think that I hear the doorbell ring. Now Ruben is still asleep. And I'm running around in my PJs which are short shorts and a strappy tank top - not something I wear in front of people. So I peek downstairs and see someone standing at our door wearing a white shirt. I'm fairly certain it is either our neighbor since he's been calling us. Then as I'm debating between waking Ruben, putting on a robe or just going downstairs, the person at the door moves and I see they are holding Callie!

I ran downstairs in my PJs and open the door...to our 17-yr old neighbor. And thank him profusely for finding our cat and make some comment about my PJs and he said something about not being sure about waking us up. I told him it was fine and thanked him some more. Then I went inside and tried to figure out what to do with our cat because I didn't know if we wanted her around the other cats since we didn't know if she'd gotten into anything while she'd been out (for almost whole 2 days!).

Our neighbors are the best neighbors a person could ask for. There's D the Dad, J the 17-yr old son and L the 8-yr old son. L and Red are friends and love to play outside together. J is the best teenager I know. He's always willing to mow our lawn or cut branches off our trees and just be generally helpful - not a trait I see in most teens. Sure he's a bit of a smartass, but he's a really good kid and he just graduated this weekend! And D. D is just great. He will mow the front yard if he's out mowing his and ours needs it. He and Ruben are buddies. And on Saturday, he trimmed the tree in our front yard (because it needed it bad).

Here Kitty Kitty

Well, I woke up this morning at 5:30am-ish to the sound of two cats fighting. Since Reeses (the kitten) and Callie (the big girl) do fight occasionally I bolted out of bed and was attempting to figure out where the cats were when Ruben comes out of the bedroom and says (something like this), "Jenni, it's not ours, it's coming from outside."

So, I went back to bed.

Then I woke up at 8:30-ish to get ready for church. I see the Percy (the boy cat) sitting in our window but neither Reeses or Callie are upstairs. So I just go about my morning, making coffee, getting some stuff done that I needed to take to Sunday School with me. Around 9:50 I decide to crawl back in my bed...not to sleep, just cause I'm like that. Ruben was still sleeping. Percy was still sitting on our window. At about 10am, I realize that Reeses is not laying between Ruben and I like she normally is. And in fact, in the almost an hour and half that I've been up, I hadn't seen either Reeses or Callie.

So, I got up and started traipsing through the house, calling the cats and checking all their normal hiding places. After not finding either of them anywhere, I'm getting a little worried. But seriously, they have to be here somewhere. As I'm walking through the livingroom is occurs to me to check the window sills. We leave one of those windows open and they put like to sit up there. So I pull the curtain back to reveal not a cat, but a HOLE IN THE SCREEN.

At which point I open the door and look outside to see if I can see either of them.

Then I race up the stairs to Ruben and wake him up. I know how much he hates it when I wake him up with bad news, but I have no choice. So I woke him up and he scrambled out of bed and is almost downstairs when he asks, "Where's the boy?" Because the boy is his favorite.

After being assured that his cat is up in our bedroom (by going up and seeing for himself and shutting the door to make sure he doesn't move). We go out and start looking for the two girls.

Now, our cats are all indoor cats. They don't have front claws. They don't wear their tags. We know they should always wear their tags...in case they manage to get out...but ours don't. Well, didn't. Now they will get collars and will wear their tags all the time regardless if they like it.

Anyways back to the story, I had to leave for church. I would've rather stayed home, but in addition to doing my "job", I also had to help with two other jobs at some people are out of town.

By the time I get home at 12:30pm, both cats are still missing.

Ruben has put food out for them in hopes that they will get hungry. He keeps going outside and making a clicking noise that he has taught the boy and the kitten to respond to. And I made up a flier featuring pictures and details of both cats. Just after I print it, Ruben goes out and makes the clicking sound and Reeses comes running into the garage.

Unfortunately, it is now 11pm and Callie is still out there somewhere. We've driven around looking for her. Red and I went around and hung up signs about a missing cat. We still have food sitting out waiting for her. But no Callie so far.

Maybe someone took her in earlier today and haven't seen our signs yet.

Maybe she's just hiding somewhere in the neighborhood and no one is paying attention to her with all the other cats that just get to roam free (they aren't strays, they're just outside cats).

Luckily, we haven't seen smushed Callie anywhere either.

Good bye Spring. The fish that started it all has passed away.

Evidently I have a 3 week limit to how long I can keep fish alive.

Now I need to go get a book about keeping fish alive. Hopefully the library has one.

Burial In the Tiolet

You may remember that I recently starting having fish at my house. Not the kind you eat, but the kind you feed and have an aquarium for and that provide amusement for the kiddo.

Yesterday. Flip died.

Today. It appears Dottie has died.

They weren't even with us for a month.

I guilted Ruben into disposing of Flip. So far, I'm the only one that knows Dottie is dead. And Dottie is a pretty big girl and I'm not so sure the net is big enough for her.

I think I'm going to blame their death on the filter that I bought on Thursday. It seems to convenient that they both just up and died when that is the only thing that has changed recently. Sure, Red has overfed them a bit, but they were surviving.

But the water, it was nasty looking so I bought a filter. Because all the PetCo people kept assuming I had one when in fact I did not.

Now two of the three fishies are dead.

And Ruben is forcing me to deal with this one on my own. :(

My stomach gets queasy just thinking about flushing fishies down the toilet.

bye-bye fishies...



Okay, Dottie is flushed.

Spring looks like she is just barely hanging on.

I have a feeling by morning we'll have no fishies in the tank. :(

some people should not be put in charge...

Sorry for the lack of posting this week. I spent Mon-Wed on a business trip in LA and then Thursday was spent catching up. And now for today....

Today was Field Day. And evidently at the end of the year the organization goes down the tubes. I had volunteered to help, but got a response back that they had already sent out the schedule of volunteers and I could just hang out with Red. That works better for me anyways since I like taking pictures.

So I showed up this morning and just waited for Field Day to start and then I hung around with Red's class. Well, since there are four 2nd grade classes, the teachers decided that only two of them needed to be with the classes at any given time and the other two would get that time off. Well, Red's teacher had the morning off. Unfortunately Red's class was combined with another class to make a total of 23 kids. And evidently both of the teachers for these classes were the ones with the morning "off".

The way this worked is each grade level went to an area. At each area there were 3-4 stations. Since there were 3-4 stations and only 2 teachers, I ended up in charge of 23 kids. With no instructions. The other two teachers just kind of hung out with their kids and left this group (the largest group) to their own devices with me attempting to move them along. And more often than not, they ended up in slightly the wrong place. Every so often one of the teachers would come over and tell the kids to do something. But then they would walk off.

AND THEN they got to the relay race station. And somehow ended up with 2 groups of 3 and 1 group of 4. And the...oh wait...let me back up...

There was at least one adult at each area with 3-4 stations within each area. The stations were run by 6th graders. They were in charge of explaining the games to the kids and helping them do what they needed to do.

Now, back to the relay race. This 6th grade girl was *yelling* at the 2nd graders. Because in a relay race they need teams with equal numbers (supposedly 4 people per team). And this girl BLEW UP because first there were 3 team of 3 (at least that's what she thought and they couldn't have a relay race with only three people in a team). But one of the other 6th grade girls convinced her that they should do it with just two hand offs (duh). Then she started spreading the kids out and she couldn't figure out where the 4th kid in the 3rd team came from (hint: he was there all along, she just missed counting him). She kept accusing him of just walking over after they divided into teams. Or that maybe there were three teams of three and a team of two which again you can't have a group of two in a relay race. I hung back for a second because I just couldn't believe how serious this girl was taking this and I expected the adult in charge to come over. But no adult came over so I had to step up and tell this 6th grader to knock it off. Luckily I didn't smack her upside the head like I wanted to, I just explained the situation.

Of course the boy that was the odd one out is a boy with some special issues. I'm not sure what exactly his issues are, but I know from other activities that I have attended that he does sometimes need some gentle handling and here's this 6th grader yelling at him. And since he was the odd one out he ended up not participating and stomped off. At which point I let him pout until the 6th grader got her head out of her ass and managed to get the other kids going. Then I walked over to the other boy and tried to get him involved at another station. At which point all he would say is that he wanted to go home and field day was stupid. However, he did eventually get up and join in again. And I cursed the teachers and the organizers and the adult in charge of the area and the 6th grader that shouldn't have been in charge of a station with that attitude.

Because seriously, they are 2nd graders and it is field day. It is supposed to be fun. It is not a time for someone to yell at a bunch of kids because they are having a hard time getting organized. And let me say it again, THEY ARE SECOND GRADERS...of course they will have a hard time getting organized and following directions with all th excitement of FIELD DAY.

Basically, at this point I was done with Field Day, but again with the lack of supervision for these kids made it to where I had to stay.

Eventually another mom showed up. And she is much more take charge than I am which worked out well. Particularly since I explained the situation of No Teacher to her. And she's the room mom so all the kids already know her. Most of them know me, but I'm usually in the background just handing stuff out not actually being in charge so they don't look at me to be in charge.

step-mom day?

Mother's Day is hard for me.

I know that I am technically not Red's mother. I am aware of that fact.

However, Ruben and I have primary custody right now and I'm with her everyday. Getting her up for school. Taking her to school. Eating lunch with her occasionally. Going to the school activities. Doing activities with her in the evening. Putting her to bed at night. Listening to the Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe with her. Trying to figure out how to afford swimming lessons this summer.

And all she has talked about since Tuesday is seeing her mom this weekend. And I know it's not because she doesn't love Ruben and I. And I'm happy that she gets to see her mom and I'm happy that she wants to see her mom and it is totally normal for her to miss her mom. And I don't have a problem with any of that.

Because I *KNOW* that I am not her mom.

But some days, it's hard to listen to how much she misses her mom. It's hard to help her make something to give her mom for Mother's Day when she doesn't even think about making me something. Maybe if I had some children who I was the actual Mother to, it wouldn't be so hard. Maybe.

Or maybe not.

crafting for mother's day

My least favorite activity to do with Red is running errands. However, when that is what I have to spend the evening doing and her other option is to hang out at the house and do nothing, she wants to go with me.

There are moments of enjoyment. There are also moments where so is dancing around all over the place after I have asked her three times to knock it off. And of course there is the buy this, buy that, and oh I've ALWAYS wanted this.

Anyways.

This Sunday is Mother's Day as I'm sure we're all aware. So part of tonight's shopping trip was buying something that Red could make for her mom. She picked out a candle kit that didn't look too hard. Then she picked out a flower something or another kit that she wanted to buy with her money. I had already told her that I would buy the kit to make something for her mom.

However, now that we've gotten the kit home. It does look incredibly easy, but it also it pretty lame because since it requires no heat, there is nothing to keep the wax beads in place besides just not shaking it around. Which means if it get tipped over...or say has to ride in the car for 30 minutes...that is a good chance that wax beads will end up *everywhere*. So it might be going back to the store and we might be figuring something else out. This craft just seems to not end with a real completed project, but instead of semi-completed project which isn't really what we want.

Happy Cinco de Mayo...

...now why don't you go to the dentist?

It's quite lovely how I have to go to the dentist today...not! I'm not a fan of going to the dentist. I never have been a fan of the dentist office. Particularly since I know I'll get the same lecture I always get about flossing. I don't do it. I won't do it. The dental hygienist can tell me about the dangers of not flossing until forever and I still won't floss. It's just the way I am.

Anyways. After the dentist I get to go to Red's talent show audition. I'm not sure which will be more painful. Not because she's bad or anything, just because I've heard her talent show audition already...many times...very loudly.

Lawn Care Day

Today was Lawn Care Day (LCD).

Evidently LCD should come about more often because my lawn was seriously in need of care. First task - mowing. Red was at a friend's house for a few hours so I started up the lawn mower and set to work. We have about 1/4 of an acre. It's not the biggest yard on the cul-de-sac. In fact, our neighbor has a 1/2 acre yard - he's got the biggest slice of the cul-de-sac.

Anyways, back to LCD. So I mowed, with my walk-behind mower and picked up branches and forgotten toys and parts of our swingset and made piles of stuff all along the fence.

Of course after mowing (it took about a hour and 15 minutes), it was time to pick Red up from her friends. So I put on some flip-flops and drove over there - still wearing my stinky lawn mowing clothing. I'm sure the mother was happy to invite me into her house...

Then it was back to LCD. I still had to mow under the swingset. One of the swings had fallen down at some point during the winter and I couldn't find the chains for it. And I figured finding metal chains with a lawn mower wasn't the best idea. And Red came out back because a kid from her class lives behind us and he was outside playing and so she wanted to come out back. Then she attempted to climb over the fence into his yard while wearing a skirt. Until I told her to inside and put on some shorts before she got splinters in her butt.

After deciding that the chains probably weren't in the grass under the swings, I mowed the last bit of the yard. The chains are still missing by the way. I'm not sure how they escaped the back yard. But I mowed the whole thing and didn't find any chains.

The next fun activity that is part of LCD is pulling weeds in the rock bed. I decided it was time when at first glance I couldn't tell what was weeds and what was the bushes that were planted there.

Then it was rake up the leaves from last fall time.

Then it was plant some Marigold seeds, Bachelor Buttons seeds and Cucumber seeds in the planters that I found in the shed that the previous owner left.

And then LCD was over.

Now I have to decide what part of my yard I want to dig up and turn into a flowerbed this summer. Because I hate mowing. Although there is still a spot in the front yard that I'd like to turn into a flowerbed.

Ooohhh... I know. Let's make a LIST.

10 things Jenni would like to do to her Yard this Year....
1. In the fall - plant tulips and stuff in the front by the ugly evergreen crap
2. Rip up weeds on the south side of house and put in a flower bed
3. Kill the dandelions
4. Weed the rock bed regularly
5. Water the bushes in the rock bed so that they don't die
6. Put down some more grass seed where grass is dying
7. Water the lawn so grass doesn't look dead all summer long
8. Figure out where pool/big trampoline should go
9. Based on #8 figure out where garden should go
10. Buy a table for outside

And just so you know, just because #8 mentioned a pool or a big trampoline, neither of those will be purchased anytime soon.

Tornados!

Well, luckily I didn't get blown away last night.

On Thursday nights I have Bible study. I contemplated not going because we were under a Tornado watch. That just means that there's a storm coming that maybe could possibly produce Tornados but nothing has been seen or anything like that. So off to Bible study I went. About 30 minutes later on come the tornado sirens - which meant something had been spotted. And there I was in a 1st floor apartment with no basement, no tv, no internet and no cellphone because it kept going into roam mode. Luckily nothing serious happened, but we were all a little freaked out. I think there was a little hail and there was rain, but that was it.

Then I went home and got some stuff done. I went to bed around 11:30. We opened the windows in our bedroom before we went to bed so that we'd be able to hear if anything started happening since we were still under tornado watch (remember watch means nothing has happened, warning means something has happened).

I woke up at 1:30am. My alarm clock was blinking 12:30am so we lost power around 1am for a little bit. The wind was howling. I could hear the shingles slapping on the roof. A whole freaking ton of lighting. I'm fairly certain there was some hail there at some point too. I was just about to get out of bed to go check the weather when the wind picked up even more and our curtains were blowing every which way. It woke Ruben up and he told me to close the windows (duh). I closed our windows. Went down to the computer and had to turn it on since the power was out. While it was booting up I went to Red's room and shut here window.

According to WeatherUnderground we were under a severe thunderstorm warning and a tornado watch. Well, it sounded bad so I was sure it would turn into something else. So I got my blanket and told Ruben I would be staying up for a while - he was mostly back asleep already anyways. Then I went to the basement, move some furniture around to make room and laid down on the floor to watch Bryan Busby to tell me what was happening. I stayed up until about 2am when the storm was dying down and then I went to bed again.

And that's the end of severe thunderstorm adventure...for last night at least.

Okay. I'm the first to admit that I am easily influenced by other people. I am. I'm a follower by nature. Me over here...I don't have a mind of my own. It's just full of the ideas and values and thoughts of others.

Okay, that might be a bit of an exaggeration, but it doesn't change the basic idea of me being a follower.

I've been reading all these blogs about simple living and green living and saving money and more. And I'd to give all of these ideas a go. I've declared a hatred for plastic bags that I didn't have until about 6 months ago. I'm contemplating going to Goodwill for clothing - not because we can't buy new, but why should we? Particularly if I go to the brand new Goodwill in Overland Park. The Olathe one rarely has anything I want.

And coupons. Oh my goodness. A year ago I would've never used a grocery coupon. I definitely wouldn't have bought the Sunday paper for the coupons. I'd use the 40% of JoAnns/Michaels/HobbyLobby. I'd use the Free Panty coupon from Victoria's Secret. But 75cents off of two boxes of cereal...nope, not me. But you know what, if you use three of those, that's $2.25 off 6 boxes of cereal. If the cereal is already on sale for $2 each. Instead of $12 you're spending $9.75. That's a savings of almost 20% off the sale price. Those boxes of cereal normally cost at least $3 which means instead of spending $18 on 6 boxes of cereal you're spending $9.75 which is ALMOST 50% off. Seriously.

I think back over what I have bought in the past 4 years and there is so much waste. So much that I didn't even *need* and hardly even remember. And for what? Just so that I have stuff. To feel like I have stuff. To feel better about myself. Just because I'm bored. I dunno.

Now granted, I say all this after spending $60 on a purse. But somedays a girl needs a new purse.

All this to say, that I am trying. And I don't really know where I'm trying to get to. Possibly to a less wasteful me. Or at least to a less bogged down all kinds of crap me.